Category: News

Discipline. It’s the foundation of success in every area of life. From classrooms to careers, family relationships to friendships, discipline is the glue that holds things together. It’s the energy source that keeps things going when times are tough.

Here at The Academy of Scholars private school in Atlanta, we believe that students who learn the value of discipline from a young age will be better equipped to succeed at school, in the workplace, and beyond. Think for a moment about the discipline required to learn how to read. For kids, this is often one of the first big milestones that requires plenty of discipline. That’s why we put such an emphasis on instilling this critical value in the minds of our students.

However, if you want to truly develop discipline in children, you need to make it a priority in the home. Students who are encouraged to grow this skill both in school and at home will greatly benefit from the consistency of standards and expectations.

If you feel like your home could use a little (or a lot) more discipline, you’re not alone. And while it can be one of the most challenging lessons to instill, the benefits make it all worthwhile. Here are seven reasons why discipline is critical for your child’s success, and some practical ways that you can nurture this value in your home.

1. Discipline helps kids learn time management skills.

One of the key functions of discipline is the ability to manage one’s time in a responsible manner. Effective time management allows students to prioritize tasks, set and achieve goals, and use their time wisely by looking ahead and weighing their choices.

2. Discipline grows a strong work ethic.

When children learn the value of a “work now, play later” mindset, they’ll develop a strong and trustworthy work ethic. There’s something to be said about the reward following hard work, and the more children experience this, the more determined they’ll be to set their mind to completing their tasks.

3. Discipline builds character.

In and of itself, discipline is a valuable character trait. However, the development of this one trait can yield a host of other valuable characteristics. Children who learn discipline are also responsible, have stronger integrity, and find it easier to exercise self-control.

4. Discipline allows for focused learning.

When children begin to harness the power of discipline, they are better able to block out the distractions around them and focus on the task at hand. Doing so allows for better learning retention, which inevitably leads to consistent growth and achievement in their work.

5. Discipline reduces stress.

We’ve all felt the anxiety that comes with procrastination and the panic that accompanies ever-encroaching deadlines. Discipline allows you to exercise good time management, prioritization, and foresight to complete tasks in a timely and measured way. When work is completed with time to spare, stress levels decrease. When children learn to apply this kind of discipline to all of their responsibilities, they typically experience far less stress and anxiety, leading to better overall mental health.

6. Discipline keeps students physically active.

Anyone who’s ever tried to make a habit of regular exercise knows that doing so requires discipline. However, disciplined children can see the value of putting in the work where physical fitness is concerned, and they aren’t afraid to do so. As they develop this trait, students show a stronger commitment to staying physically active.

7. Discipline grows strong leaders.

Look at anyone who leads well and you’ll find that they all have one crucial trait in common: discipline. A disciplined leader sees the value in hard work, problem-solving, modeling exemplary behavior, and leading with integrity.

How to Develop Discipline at Home

1. Set Expectations

Discuss clear, age-appropriate expectations for disciplined behavior in your home. Be careful not to set the bar so high in the beginning that it seems too lofty to reach. Instead, have regular check-ins to discuss what’s working, what isn’t, and how you can continue to move the bar higher. Children should know what is expected of them based on the guidelines and rules that have been put into place.

2. Lead by Example

Children find it difficult to respect double standards. If you expect discipline from your child, it’s crucial that you lead by example. The best teacher is one who shows, not simply tells.

3. Follow a Routine

Consistency is a critical building block to developing discipline. Try to keep up with a regular routine in the home that includes designated times for chores, homework, family meals, and bedtime.

4. Assign Chores

Many students find themselves at a disadvantage when they try to enter the workplace from a lifetime without chores and responsibilities. Try to assign daily, weekly, and monthly chores that are age-appropriate and incorporate them into your expectations and routine. If you feel that a bit of incentive is needed, that’s okay. Give your children something to work for by establishing that chores must be completed in order to earn a privilege, such as screen time.

5. Set Goals

A critical element of discipline is understanding the importance of setting and working toward personal goals. Discuss goals that you’d like to set with your child, whether it’s reaching an academic milestone, learning a new skill, or completing a lengthy project.

6. Encourage Extracurriculars

Discipline doesn’t mean all work and no play. Encourage your child to pick up and stick with some extracurricular activities, such as sports or music lessons. Talk about the importance of practice and honing their skills. Stress the importance of sticking to it, even when they may not feel like it.

7. Have Kids Help with Household Tasks

Outside of regular chores, children can learn discipline through various household tasks, such as cooking, baking, and gardening. These things do a great job helping children understand the relationship between work and reward.

When the bank and local fast food joints hang hundreds of cutout hearts from the ceiling and you can’t watch a football game without being bombarded with jewelry commercials, you know it’s February. Valentine’s Day might seem like one more holiday that takes over store shelves with candy and demands your participation, but it’s also a great opportunity to talk to your kids about the most important value of them all: love.

From this one virtue stems countless others. When love flourishes, traits like patience, kindness, and gratefulness follow. Chances are, the word “love” is probably spoken in your home on a daily basis. But when was the last time you talked about the meaning of this simple word? It’s easy to think children must have an innate understanding of love. After all, you were speaking the words “I love you” to them long before they could say it back. However, it’s important that children understand that love is more than just something we say–it’s a way of life.

Explaining the Concept of “Love” to Children

Sure, most of us could say without hesitation that we know what love is. But how would you put it into words? Your definition of love will probably vary depending on who it’s directed at. For example, you might love your neighbor, Betty, and her delicious chocolate chip cookies, but that love is different from the love you have for your child. Even within the family, the love between parents and children is different from the love between spouses. This concept can be tricky for children to understand.

So, where do you begin?

First, try to help your child understand that “love” is different from “enjoy.” For example, they might say they “love” strawberry ice cream, but hopefully their feelings for strawberry ice cream are quite different from what they feel for their family members. Your child should understand that love as a virtue has nothing to do with personal preferences.

Explain to your child that at its core, loving others means desiring the best for them. You care about their wellbeing and safety. This applies across the board.

At our Christian private school in Atlanta, we use the Bible to help us define love. First Corinthians 13, often called the “love chapter,” paints a detailed picture of love in action: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, English Standard Version).

You can help your child remember what it means to love others by encouraging them to memorize verses like these. When they act in a way that is unloving towards someone else, recite the verses with them and talk about how they could better show love to those around them.

9 Practical Ways to Teach Your Child to Love Well

1. Model love in your home and relationships.

A child’s understanding of love comes from what they perceive and experience within their home. Just as it is important to encourage children to go above and beyond to show love to others, parents should strive for this, as well.

2. Discuss what it means to love others.

While the tips above are a great foundation for helping a child understand the concept of love, it’s so much more than a one-and-done discussion. Ask your child regularly what they think it means to love others. When an offense is made toward someone else, ask your child, “How could you have loved that person better?” When someone has wronged them, ask, “How could that person have treated you in a more loving manner?”

3. Read stories that paint a picture of love and friendship.

Helping kids read stories that feature valuable truths is an excellent way to impress those truths upon their hearts. Look for books that paint a vivid and accurate picture of love and friendship, then discuss the values found in the story when you’ve finished reading.

4. Put together a photo album.

Ask your child for a list of the people they love. Then, have photos of each person printed. Let your child pick out a photo album and fill it with pictures of their loved ones. While you fill the album, have your child explain what they love about each person.

5. Teach your child about love languages and discuss the things that make them feel loved.

You’ve probably heard of the Five Love Languages. People like to express and receive love in different ways. There’s Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, and Words of Affirmation (Chapman, The 5 Love Languages). While it can sometimes take children a while to develop their “love language,” you can begin to consider and discuss the things that make them feel most loved. You can also tell them about your “love language,” so that they can begin to think about how other people might like to receive love.

6. Come up with little ways to say, “I love you.”

You can never express love too much. As a family, come up with creative ways that you can communicate love to one another apart from simply saying, “I love you.” This might include sweet sayings, like, “I love you to the moon.” When you’re holding hands, three squeezes can be a secret way of saying, “I love you.” And when you’re waving goodbye to your child at school drop-off, try using the American Sign Language sign for “I love you.”

7. Make a card to tell someone they’re loved.

Help your children learn to go out of their way to show love by making and mailing (or giving) “just because” cards to people they care about. Taking the time to do something that will make another person feel loved is a great way to help children begin to shape an others-minded mentality.

8. Play “Loving Charades.”

Give your child various scenarios and situations, and have them act out ways that they could show love in that situation. You might say, “Your friend fell and scraped her knee. How could you show her love at that moment?” Then, let your child act out how they would respond.

9. Love your community.

Finally, find ways to serve your community as a family, and discuss ways that you can love your community well. Oftentimes, love means putting others first. Serving in this way can help children learn to shift their focus from themselves to loving and caring for others.

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Infographic

Love fosters patience, kindness, and gratefulness. It’s important for children to understand that love is a way of life. Explore the infographic for nine ways to teach your child to love well.

Determining where your child will spend so much of their formative years is no small decision. Chances are, you’ve been weighing your options since they were crawling around in diapers. In today’s cultural climate, the decision seems more crucial than ever. And it is. Parents want to know they can trust the values and influences their children are being exposed to on a daily basis.

When it comes down to it, most parents are faced with three options: home school, public school, or private school. The differences between these options are night and day, which means their outcomes could be, as well. While homeschooling gives you the ability to monitor and regulate what your child is being taught and the influences around them, this option simply isn’t feasible for many families, and some children don’t do well in this kind of learning environment.

If you made it to this article, that probably means you’ve narrowed it down to two choices: public or private. Now, we want to be clear: if you’ve come in search of an exhaustive list of everything wrong with public schools, you won’t find that here. While no school or system is without its flaws, there are so many professionals within the public sphere who are seeking to spread the love of Christ and make improvements wherever they can.

That said, we’ve also seen the incredible impact that a Christ-centered education can have on a child’s life. For that reason, we’d like to share with you 10 advantages of sending your child to a Christian school.

1. A Christian private school can help give your child the foundation of a biblical worldview.

If you want your child to be able to stand firm in their faith as they enter into the real world, a biblical worldview is critical. Here at the Academy of Scholars, our faculty and teachers understand just how imperative it is to help students build a firm foundation of faith, grounded in biblical truth and principles. Society is going to bombard your children with a plethora of worldviews that stand against the truth of the gospel. A faith-based education will help equip your student to know what they believe and why they believe it.

2. Christian schools focus on holistic development.

While many public schools do an excellent job nurturing academic and even physical development, they miss a key element. At a Christian school, your child will also have the opportunity to grow spiritually. From there, every other aspect of your child’s wellbeing has a better opportunity to flourish. Spiritual health is a crucial ingredient for academic, social, emotional, and physical success.

3. A Christ-centered education embraces excellence without demanding perfection.

As believers, we understand that earthly perfection is unattainable. At the same time, the Bible calls us to excellence. As Colossians 3:23 reminds us, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord” (English Standard Version). This means that while we don’t need to demand unattainable perfection, we can help students strive for excellence in everything they do, just as we strive to do in our own lives.

4. Christian schools teach values and principles you can trust.

One issue that many parents face with public schools is not knowing what kind of values are being taught and celebrated in the classroom. No parent wants to have to correct things their child might have learned from their teacher, but when values don’t align many feel compelled to do just that. When researching private Christian schools, be sure to take a look at their statements of faith, research their values, and carefully read through the handbook to make sure you feel confident in the principles they uphold.

5. Private Christian schools are family-oriented.

Educators in private Christian schools know that the classroom is a secondary place of learning. The first is the home and, more specifically, the family unit. Both must work together in order for the student to see optimal success. A good private school will partner with parents by fostering strong communication so that parents can reinforce what is being taught in the classroom, and vice versa.

6. At a Christian school, you’ll find a community you can depend on.

You’ve heard the term “it takes a village.” But not just any village will do. As a Christian parent, you want to know that your village–your community–shares your values and will not only encourage your child academically and socially, but spiritually, as well. When your child is part of a Christian school family, this sense of community can be experienced between parents, students, and educators.

7. Private schools provide a more individualized focus.

Another thing that makes private schools appealing to so many parents is that they generally offer smaller class sizes than their public school counterparts. A more intimate setting allows teachers to better assess and meet the individual needs of each student, creating a more optimal learning environment.

8. Safety is a top priority when you attend a private school.

In many cases, private schools are able to place a higher focus on student safety. These days, you can never be too cautious, and as a parent you crave the peace of mind found in knowing your child is protected while they’re outside of your care. Private schools typically boast more advanced security and undergo more rigorous safety training.

9. At a Christian school, you can have more confidence in your student’s peer influences.

Children of all ages long to fit in with their peers. In far too many cases, this can cause children to make unwise decisions in an attempt to be a part of the “in” crowd. Private Christian schools hold students to a higher standard and have stricter rules and guidelines than you’ll find in a public school. The result? Lower percentages of peer-related issues, such as substance abuse, and a healthier, more uplifting peer environment.

While any academic-driven school can shape a future CEO, a private Christian school can help your child become the kind of leader that the world really needs–one who is led by Christ’s love and by biblical values. A good Christian academy will nurture your student’s intellectual curiosity and spur them on to become a champion for the gospel and a Christ-like leader in the workplace, their community, and at home.

These days, all you have to do is flip on the news to be reminded of the sad state of so much of the world. Even a trip to the grocery store can paint a picture of the impatient, self-serving, and uncaring turn that society has taken. Values and good character seem to be things of the past.

For Christ-followers, this should come as no surprise. Humanity is fallen, cursed by sin. And yet, God’s value system remains unchanged. As believers, we are called to exhibit Godly character. However, one look at the world around you might have you wondering how it’s even possible to raise children with Christian values in a culture that seems to defy and abhor those values.

Thankfully, we are not alone or left without a sense of direction when it comes to godly parenting. The Bible has a lot to say about how to raise children in the Lord, as well as plenty of examples of godly character.

What values define a Christ-like character?

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful” (Colossians 3:12-15, English Standard Version).

Colossians gives us incredible insight into the values that define godly character. As believers, we are called to “put on” these characteristics. This implies effort on our part. It can be frustrating when we don’t always see evidence of these values in our childrens’ lives, but we should remember that learning to live with these values is a process. Parents can guide and equip their children to “put on” Christ-like characteristics by taking the time to teach them what the Bible has to say about them. Try using the verses below when discussing godly values with your children:

• Love: Romans 12:10

  “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor” (ESV).

• Honesty: Ephesians 4:25

  “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another” (ESV).

• Compassion: Galatians 6:2

  “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (ESV).

• Integrity: Proverbs 10:9

  “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out” (ESV).

• Respect: 1 Peter 2:17

  “Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor” (New International Version).

• Courage: Joshua 1:9

  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (ESV)

• Endurance: Romans 5:3-4

  “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope…” (ESV).

• Purity: 2 Timothy 2:22

  “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart” (ESV).

• Humility: Philippians 2:3

  “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (ESV).

• Kindness: 1 Corinthians 13:4

  “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant” (ESV).

• Others-mindedness: Philippians 2:4

  “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (ESV).

• Forgiveness: Ephesians 4:32

  “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (ESV).

• Thankfulness: 1 Thessalonians 5:18

  “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (ESV).

• Generosity: 2 Corinthians 9:7

  “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (ESV).

• Obedience: Ephesians 6:1-3

  “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land”(ESV).

How can you help your children develop Godly character?

1. Lead by example.

Children learn from the examples set by those around them. As parents, it is crucial to model for your children the kinds of values you want to instill in them, even when they aren’t watching.

2. Don’t skip discipline.

Scripture reminds us that just as God disciplines those he loves, we must also discipline our children. However, it’s important that children not view discipline simply as a punishment or angry reaction, but as guidance. The root of the word “discipline” is “disciple.” This implies a relationship where one lovingly teaches and guides another, and gives us the framework for how we should discipline our children.

3. Give them responsibilities at home.

If you want your children to grow into hard-working adults with integrity, give them chores and responsibilities at home. Children should understand the importance of work and of sharing the load at home.

4. Consider their community.

1 Corinthians 15:33 reminds us that “bad company ruins good morals” (ESV). The friends and adults in your child’s life are going to rub off on them. So, seek to fill your child’s life with like-minded people who can be an example of godly character.

5. Lead family devotions.

Make time in the Word a regular part of your family life. Develop a routine of having family devotions at dinner time or before bed.

6. Encourage scripture memorization.

Scripture memorization can be extremely useful when we are tempted to act in a way that goes against biblical values. In fact, Jesus himself fought temptation by quoting scripture. Try to commit to memorizing one verse together each week as a family.

7. Serve together.

When children serve others, they learn valuable lessons in compassion, love, kindness, and gratefulness. See if your church or your child’s Christian school has opportunities to serve, or partner with a local organization that will allow you to give back to your community.

8. Talk about it.

If you want your children to develop godly character, it’s important that they know what that looks like. The following verses can provide additional clarity on what the Bible has to say about Christ-like behavior:

• Galatians 5:22-23
• Philippians 4:8
• Romans 12:2
• 2 Peter 1:5-7
• Luke 6:31
• 1 Timothy 6:11

Parents also have access to a wellspring of resources that can support them in instilling biblical character in their children. These include family devotional books, value-centered tv shows, and web resources from organizations such as Focus on the Family.

9. Pray for your children.

Prayer is a powerful tool and an incredible opportunity to go to the Lord on behalf of your children. Parents who want to grow Christian character in their children should pray that the Holy Spirit would work in their lives to produce Christ-like behavior and strengthen them against temptation. Additionally, pray for wisdom as you seek to model and teach godly character for your children.

Here at Academy of Scholars, a private Christian school in Atlanta, Georgia, we’re committed to partnering with parents to train up children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6), and want to provide families with the resources they need to teach Christian values. We encourage you to reach out to your child’s teacher to discover more ways that you can teach your child godly principles at home.

It’s no secret: music can have a profound effect on the mind. A light, joyful melody can change the course of a bad day. An upbeat tune can motivate us to go a little further on a morning jog. And an instrumental of a favorite love song can inspire tears when a bride walks down an aisle.

Music connects with our minds in a way that nothing else can. It carries with it a harmonic, mathematical complexity that can be heard as well as seen. In the brain, neurons respond to music by creating pathways in the corpus callosum which connects the left and right hemispheres. The pathways created by the processing of music allow messages to be transmitted through the brain in a faster and more effective way. Although it is often viewed as nothing more than a pastime or form of art, music has proven to be critical to healthy brain function and development.

Music has the unique ability to engage the visual, auditory, and motor cortices of the brain at the same time. When multiple cortices of the brain work together to process a stimulus, it engages in a robust exercise that promotes advanced development. When children actively participate in music-related learning and activities, they strengthen a variety of neural and physical functions which then contribute to the development of other cognitive and motor skills.

Here at Academy of Scholars, a private school in Atlanta, our teachers use music as a tool to enhance learning in every classroom. Whether at school or in the home, there are many ways that parents and teachers can utilize music to encourage brain development in children, such as through listening to music, clapping out rhythms, and by teaching students to read music.

So, if you’re wondering how you can help boost your child’s brain development through music at home, here are some important tips and tricks:

1. Expose Children to Music Early On

Did you know that the same neural connections forged by music in the brain of a child can also be developed before they’re born? Even babies in the womb can experience the positive effects of music. This means that it’s never too early to begin exposing children to melodies.

2. Expose Children to Music Frequently

Make sure music is part of your daily routine. Sing clean up songs, play some tunes on your way to school, and end the day with a lullaby. The more children are exposed to music, the more effectively their brains will learn to process it.

3. Expose Children to Diverse Genres and Styles of Music

Most of us have a favorite genre of music. Yours might be classic rock, modern pop, or country. However, it’s crucial to expose children to a wide variety of genres and styles. Because each style of music has its own distinct characteristics, children who listen to and learn to process a diverse range of music will see enhanced neural development.

4. Combine Music with Stories

If you want to add some excitement to story time, try making your own soundtrack. Choose a story and make a playlist, including an instrumental track for each section of the book. For example, you might play a light, simple tune in the beginning, when the character is enjoying daily life. Then, when a troublesome event takes place, switch the music to something more mysterious and dramatic. And when that “happily ever after” finally comes, play a finale that swells with joy and ends in an exciting resolution.

5. Encourage Musical Play

Provide young children with various music-making toys, such as maracas, tambourines, or miniature drums and pianos. Then turn on some fun, upbeat music, and encourage them to play along with their instrument. To make it a game, have them switch instruments each time you stop the music.

6. Clap and Tap Beat and Rhythm

Children who learn to hear and replicate beats and rhythms unlock distinct and diverse neurological functions. Even stopping to listen and find the beat is like a workout for the brain. Begin with songs that have simple beats in the 4/4 time signature that aren’t too fast or too slow. Then have your child clap or tap the beat. Once they’ve mastered this, move on to faster songs, different time signatures, and more advanced rhythms.

7. Play Musical Games

Kids love to play games that involve music. Games like musical chairs, freeze dance, or “name that tune” are a fun way to help your child listen to and process music in a way that encourages cognitive development.

8. Use Songs for Learning

Music can also be a great way to help children remember important information. Teach your child songs that help them learn the days of the week, abc’s, or counting by 2’s. You can even make up your own songs that will allow your child to memorize your phone number and home address.

9. Encourage them to Learn an Instrument

Children as young as kindergarten can begin taking lessons for various musical instruments. When your child learns to play an instrument, they’re taught music theory in a deeper way than what they might learn in school music classes. Understanding the mathematics of music theory is a great way to boost cognitive development, and some studies have even found a link between music reading and higher IQs.

Music is magical. It connects to the heart, the soul, and the mind in ways that nothing else can. Because of its ability to connect with multiple cortices of the brain, music is fundamental to fostering cognitive development in children of all ages.

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Infographic

Music can engage multiple brain cortices simultaneously, promoting advanced development. If you’re wondering how to boost your child’s brain development through music at home, check out the infographic for tips and tricks.

Adults know emotions are an important, though highly challenging, part of life. They can take us by surprise. They can change the course of an entire day. They can build or destroy relationships. And if not given the proper care and attention, they can lead to serious problems.

Regulating emotions can be difficult even for the most even-keeled adult. For children, it can be incredibly confusing and often counter-intuitive. Emotional intelligence (EI) is a critical skill for children to learn, but doesn’t come naturally. They must work to learn, develop, and maintain it throughout their lives.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, emotional intelligence “involves the ability to process emotional information and use it in reasoning and other cognitive activities.”

Psychologists John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey believe that this skill requires four key abilities:

• The ability “to perceive and appraise emotions accurately.”
• The ability “to access and evoke emotions when they facilitate cognition.”
• The ability “to comprehend emotional language and make use of emotional information.”
• The ability “to regulate one’s own and others’ emotions to promote growth and well-being.”

How to Gauge Emotional Intelligence in Children

Emotional intelligence will look much different in children than it will in adults. An emotionally intelligent child should be able to:

• Recognize and name emotions
• Express emotions verbally
• Listen well to others
• Perceive inciting incidents that might have led to their emotions
• Consider the feelings of others and exhibit empathy
• Self-regulate emotions

On the flip side, children who have not yet developed emotional intelligence might:

• Have difficulty identifying emotions
• Avoid talking about emotions
• Struggle with impulse control
• Display explosive or violent responses
• Struggle to understand why their reaction wasn’t appropriate

How to Nurture Emotional Intelligence in Children

Emotional intelligence is crucial to helping children function and thrive. You can help your child develop EI by integrating these creative techniques into your family culture:

1. Teach by Modeling

First and foremost, children learn through observation. This can put a lot of pressure on parents. And it’s true, it’s a weighty responsibility. However, parenting provides the perfect opportunity and reason to learn to regulate your own emotions in a healthier way. If you struggle with modeling healthy and acceptable emotional responses, consider speaking with a licensed professional who can give you the tools you need to help you and your child.

2. Label Emotions

Children should be able to recognize and differentiate the emotions they feel. One resource that some of our pre-k Atlanta private school teachers have found helpful is a mood chart. These printable charts feature simple faces or emojis labeled with the emotions they reflect. When your child struggles to verbally communicate their feelings, bring out the mood chart and have them point to the emotion or emotions they’re feeling.

3. Discuss Appropriate Reactions

Recognizing emotions is only half the battle. Emotions lead to reactions, and not all responses are appropriate. For example, a child who throws food across the table because they don’t like what is being served for dinner is responding inappropriately to their emotions of anger and disappointment. Be sure to praise your child when they respond appropriately to difficult emotions, and ask them how they could have responded better if they acted inappropriately.

Here at our Christian private school, we believe the Bible can be an excellent resource for teaching children wisdom in handling emotions and reactions. The book of Proverbs, in particular, has many practical things to say about appropriately regulating emotions.

4. Practice Active Listening

When children don’t feel that they’re being heard, it can cause their emotions to snowball. If your child tries to express their feelings, ensure they have your full and undivided attention. In the same way, children should learn to actively listen to others to understand someone else’s feelings better.

5. Allow Children to Learn through Trial and Error

As adults, we won’t always respond ideally to emotions. So, it’s understandable that children will also struggle to react appropriately to every big emotion. When an inappropriate response is given, try to show your child patience and understanding rather than blaming them. Children should never feel that their feelings are wrong. Instead, they require a safe environment where they can learn to regulate their emotions through trial and error with gentle guidance.

6. Teach Self-Regulating Techniques

Children must learn to self-soothe and self-regulate their emotions to respond appropriately. Self-regulating techniques for children could include:

• Taking three deep breaths
• Counting to ten
• Asking for some time alone to cool down
• Verbalizing their emotions

7. Tell Stories

Stories provide excellent opportunities for children to learn about emotions and responses. Give your child real-life examples of when you responded appropriately or inappropriately to a situation. Talk about the feelings you experienced and what caused you to feel that way. In addition, look for books that show characters handling emotions. After a character makes a choice, ask your child to consider if it was an appropriate or inappropriate response.

8. Encourage Pretend Play

Imaginative play allows children to react to challenging emotions and practice interpersonal skills such as communication, regulation, and empathy. This kind of play often comes naturally for children, especially as they interact with their peers. Parents can also encourage this kind of play by giving children an imaginary scenario and asking them to act out a response to it. However, unlike charades, their act should include verbal responses.

9. Emphasize Conflict Resolution

Empathy is crucial to emotional intelligence, and conflict resolution is one of the best ways for children to develop it. When your child responds inappropriately, discuss how their choice affected those around them and encourage them to make things right. Similarly, when you display an inappropriate emotional response in front of your child (which we all do), model conflict resolution by apologizing and discussing what you could have done better.

Emotional intelligence will shape how your child responds to life’s most complex situations. It will determine their choices, relationships, and play a significant role in their mental health. Parents who nurture healthy emotional awareness and regulation in the home give their children the tools needed to thrive in a life full of emotional highs and lows. We hope these tips and tricks will help you empower your child to grow their emotional intelligence in a healthy and lasting way.